Elder McKinley – The Church’s district leader in Uganda who works with Cunningham and Price and denies his attraction to men.
Elder Kevin Price – A devout and stuck-up Mormon missionary sent to Uganda to convert war-torn villagers to Mormonism for two years. He not-so-secretly wants to be placed in Orlando, Florida but after an epiphany, he decides to stay to fulfill his God-given mission to confront and get rid of General Butt-Fucking Naked.
Elder Arnold Cunningham – Paired with Price on their two-year mission to Uganda, nerdy, insecure and lying Cunningham helps convert Ugandan villagers with Nabulungi’s help despite twisting Mormon doctrine with pop-culture references.
Nabulungi – Mafala Hatimbi’s daughter who dreams of moving to Sal Tlay Ka Siti and eventually helps Price and Cunningham convert Ugandan villagers and drives out General Butt-Fucking Naked.
Mafala Hatimbi – Price and Cunningham’s guide and chief of the local Ugandan tribe, Hatimbi and the villagers live in poverty-stricken conditions dealing with famine, AIDS, and being ruled by a monstrous general, Butt-Fucking Naked (as he is referred to).
General Butt-Fucking Naked – Evil and murderous warlord General Butt-Fucking Naked’s crude efforts help to contribute to the poverty in the Ugandan village. He is oddly obsessed with female gentialia thinking it will end his power and authority and always threatens the women of the village by saying he will circumcise them.
Mission President Thomas Monson – The leader of the Mormon missionaries who is appalled by Price’s and Cunningham’s work in Uganda and wants every Mormon missionary to leave that village.